О переводе
First off, if you like the game support the dev if you can.
Link:
https://www.dlsite.com/maniax/work/=/product_id/RJ277940...urce=vndb.org%2FI know a lot of people don't (Japanese devs make it a pain in the ass, I get it), but I figure I owe it to the dev to at least try.
These TL notes are optional, and not necessary to play the game. They're just some comments I had regarding the engine work and
me half-bitching about some of the trickier translation things. They also contain spoilers, so if you really care about not having
your porn spoilered I'd suggest you wait until after you finish.
I'll break this into two sections, technical notes and translation notes.
Technical Notes:
1. Audio
Had to go into the audio files and massively up the volume on any voice line where Kyouka says "チンポ" (dick). The original
files were so quiet you could barely even hear her speaking (especially with the BGM and SFX on) and I'm not sure why.
It seems deliberate though, because even though the audio levels are a little fucky with some other lines it's only the
three or so lines where she says "dick" that are cranked down to min volume. Maybe something the VA wanted, who knows.
The script hard codes what audio file should be used as "voice=#ofaudiofile". Unfortunately, the original author messed up
a couple times when putting the correct number and sometimes played the same audio file twice or played a completely
different line far too early. It was an easy enough fix to correct the numbers luckily.
The dev left two outtakes in the game, one during the beach scene and one during towards the end in the inn. Both were the
VA flubbing the line and apologizing into the mic, and either they forgot to re-record that line or forgot to replace it.
I decided to cut out her apologizing, but it might sound a bit weird because she never finishes the line. See if you
can spot where those lines are if you want.
2. Technical
The Kiriri Engine allows you to put a delay between lines for dramatic effect or something, and the dev accidentally fat
fingered a couple extra zeros for some of the times in the original script. That meant that after certain scenes the game
would look like it was broken because it had to wait 1000s or something crazy before it displayed the next line. I went in
and fixed the most glaring mistakes, but I might have missed a couple pauses that were longer than they probably should be.
Less of a bug but more of a thing I found when poking around the script, but for whatever reason the dev disabled the ability
to change characters in the CG display mode. I guess nobody really cares about seeing Kyouji and Kouki's two outfits,
but for shits and giggles I wrote some code to re-enable it. Couldn't fix the fucky ordering for the backgrounds and outfits,
but at the end of the day I doubt people really care about the CG character display thing anyways. I never really understood
why eroge include them all the time to be honest.
The image used for the title was a zoomed in and slightly tilted version of blank CG it was based on. Were I more skilled with
with Photoshop I might have been able to re-size and re-orient the CG image down to match the cover, but I was lazy and instead
opted to just crop and reposition the original CG instead. I think it turned out fine, it's just a little more zoomed in than
the original title image.
Translation Notes:
1. General
I'd just like to say that this is the first time I've ever translated something of this length. I'm more used to translating
CG sets and doujins which I can do in two or three sessions, versus this project which took like three months or so. My point
is that consistency in the translation might be a little fucky, because I sometimes took long breaks right in the middle of
translating a scene due to a lack of motivation. Not to say I didn't proofread my translation plenty after I finished, but
I did all this solo so I might have overlooked some things due to simply having stared at the same words for so long. It's a
porn game though not Charles Dickens, so cut me some slack.
2. The Protagonist
The author never really decided how he wanted to convey the protags thoughts in the script. Sometimes he'd use () to denote
the protagonist speaking to himself, and sometimes he'd just chuck it in the middle of the narration. To make it not sound
so all over the place and more readable, I decided to slightly bend the narration to make it seem like it's always the
protagonist speaking to himself or otherwise telling the story to someone else. It still gets across the same meaning,
but now it feels more like the protagonist's internal monologue proper.
3. Repetitive Word Choices/Phrases
There are many places where the author really, really, really liked to use a lot of the same words over and over and over again.
For one, Kyouka cums in sex scenes. A lot. A whole fucking bunch. And nearly every single time the author would use 昇り詰める,
which essentially closest to the verb "to climax". You probably wouldn't be surprised when I say there aren't many creative
ways to describe Kyouka's umpteenth climax, but if I translated it the same way every time people might think I'm not trying.
Another thing the author could not shut up about was about how wet or tight Kyouka's vagina was every five seconds. The wetness
was particularly annoying, because he ran out of analogies very quickly and almost always resorted to something to the effect
of, "And then she got *really* wet!". The tightening was also a bit repetitive to translate, as pretty much anything protag
would do would result in Kyouka tightening up. "Tighten", "squeeze", and "clamp" can only be written so many times before it
starts to read as lazy, but combined with Kyouka's infinite orgasms there's really only so much I can do.
One final thing I'll bitch about is the author not really having any concept of speed or intensity. Far too often in the sex
scenes he'd write something like, "And then he started moving faster!" or "And then he fucked her harder!". There's nothing
wrong with that, but after the third time you repeat that it gets a little hard to put it on an understandable scale. After
a certain point it honestly reads like, "And then he fucked her really, really hard!". So if it sounds weird in the TL,
don't blame me, blame the original author.
4. Miscellaneous
No, I don't understand why the author randomly decided to write a short scene from Kyouka's point of view and then never did
it again. The sudden shift in perspectives threw me off when I first read it too, but it really is meant to be through
Kyouka's eyes.
The author really stretches it with the amount of info the protag can read from Kyouka's expressions. I tried my best not
to make him seem like a mind reader, but even the author slips up every once and a while. My apologies for using the word
"probably" all the time. (Also the word "clearly" and variations of.)
Final Notes:
I might translate some of this studio's earlier works if people want. Translating a 5,000ish line game is a lot more doable
than some of the 10-20k plus line eroges a lot of people want to see translated. Depends on my motivation/life schedule though.
Hope you enjoyed the TL.
-Darg777
